Gah, these people are such jerks! Right!?!? Nope. They aren't. They aren't jerks. They are two people that decided to have sex during the fertile phase of the ovulatory cycle, and as a result, she had a baby. Even that is presumptuous. That baby could have been prayed for, for years. That baby could be a rainbow baby. The point is not how other people do pregnancy and birth. The point is that you don't have to do it that way.
There are general markers of pregnancy; as a whole, consuming a bottle of wine a night is not the best idea. It's a good idea to have a birth leader; be that a midwife, an obstetrician, or your Aunt Lucy. They are way more attuned to the best practices of pregnancy, but the focus here is that you choose.
When anyone tells me they are pregnant I send them to the same place. It is my favorite place to send people because it is a webpage that offers, "40 questions for your midwife." Most often I send people there and they immediately say something like, "I don't even know what half of those words mean." This isn't meant to overwhelm you or make you feel stupid. This is meant to call you to a higher level of thinking. The questions asked on that page are going to make you ask questions. Hopefully, when you ask those questions, you get answers that make sense and align with what you want. My goal in practice is to empower parents to be as present with their children as possible and in my mind, this starts right with that first pregnancy test, and probably even before.
Your ideal birth doesn't have here or there, or up or down, or right or wrong. It must be one where mama is comfortable. In my social circles, if I said, "You know, I really want to deliver in a hospital with an epidural." I would be harshly judged. That judgement would come from a place of education and statistically likely outcomes... but it's judgement nonetheless. I'm sure there are social groups that would faint at the idea of an unassisted childbirth; it would appear that the politicians making the rules on all of our births are in that crowd.
As a newb entrepreneur, I've been attending a lot of personal growth/mindset meetings in my community. 75% of them are amazing and worthy of your time, by the way. In those meetings the final, obnoxiously esoteric and yet also applicable recommendation, is to envision your dream. I don't see why birth should be any different.
When you think of birth, what are your first thoughts? I suspect that a solid 1/3 of the people reading this immediately thought of the financial burden. Ok, so let's take that and place it aside. What next? What do you see? I think, because I saw it right when it occurred to me that I might one day go through birth, I think of Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up; again...maybe not the best image.
Who is in the room? Who holds your hand? Does your hand need holding? Are you quiet and still? or panting and dancing and wild? What do the eyes look like of everyone in the room? Are they old and crinkled into anticipatory smiles? Are they wide open to take in every velvety moment? Are you on a bed? Or are you on the floor? Are there medical masks? What are you wearing? Are you wearing a hospital gown? Are you wearing a cute piece of lingerie, like women wear when they need an extra "oomph" of confidence? Are you wearing your spouse's old shirt? Are there windows in the room? What's the weather like outside? Are you inside or outside? When you give that last push, what is the first thing you want your baby to feel? Will a doctor catch your baby in nitrile gloves? Will your baby go from one aquatic environment to another? Will you pull him to the outside world yourself? And then what? Will there be shrills and screams of pleasure and excitement? Or will everything melt down into liquid serenity. Will anyone else exist in those precious moments?
I've been told a million times, "I thought I wanted to sit on the ball: I didn't want to sit on the ball". "I thought I would want my husband to rub my back: If anyone touched me I threw up." It's ok for things to change. It's ok to want to wear something special and then it gets poop or pee or some other bodily function on it and have to change. It's ok to start at home and end up not at home. It's ok to have a birth plan that goes out the window. But that doesn't make the birth plan any less significant. Have someone, or a team of someones with you to help you. If you don't want pitocin, and you are offered pitocin...that's not ok. If you don't want an epidural and you are offered an epidural, that's not ok! If you don't want your husband's sister's mailman in the room, guess what? THEY DON'T COME IN. You are delivering your baby into the world. Anyone else in the room is merely an observer or an accomplice in miracle work. Make sure your company is worthy of the experience; because birth is nothing short of miraculous.
As a newb entrepreneur, I've been attending a lot of personal growth/mindset meetings in my community. 75% of them are amazing and worthy of your time, by the way. In those meetings the final, obnoxiously esoteric and yet also applicable recommendation, is to envision your dream. I don't see why birth should be any different.
When you think of birth, what are your first thoughts? I suspect that a solid 1/3 of the people reading this immediately thought of the financial burden. Ok, so let's take that and place it aside. What next? What do you see? I think, because I saw it right when it occurred to me that I might one day go through birth, I think of Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up; again...maybe not the best image.
Who is in the room? Who holds your hand? Does your hand need holding? Are you quiet and still? or panting and dancing and wild? What do the eyes look like of everyone in the room? Are they old and crinkled into anticipatory smiles? Are they wide open to take in every velvety moment? Are you on a bed? Or are you on the floor? Are there medical masks? What are you wearing? Are you wearing a hospital gown? Are you wearing a cute piece of lingerie, like women wear when they need an extra "oomph" of confidence? Are you wearing your spouse's old shirt? Are there windows in the room? What's the weather like outside? Are you inside or outside? When you give that last push, what is the first thing you want your baby to feel? Will a doctor catch your baby in nitrile gloves? Will your baby go from one aquatic environment to another? Will you pull him to the outside world yourself? And then what? Will there be shrills and screams of pleasure and excitement? Or will everything melt down into liquid serenity. Will anyone else exist in those precious moments?
I've been told a million times, "I thought I wanted to sit on the ball: I didn't want to sit on the ball". "I thought I would want my husband to rub my back: If anyone touched me I threw up." It's ok for things to change. It's ok to want to wear something special and then it gets poop or pee or some other bodily function on it and have to change. It's ok to start at home and end up not at home. It's ok to have a birth plan that goes out the window. But that doesn't make the birth plan any less significant. Have someone, or a team of someones with you to help you. If you don't want pitocin, and you are offered pitocin...that's not ok. If you don't want an epidural and you are offered an epidural, that's not ok! If you don't want your husband's sister's mailman in the room, guess what? THEY DON'T COME IN. You are delivering your baby into the world. Anyone else in the room is merely an observer or an accomplice in miracle work. Make sure your company is worthy of the experience; because birth is nothing short of miraculous.
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