Mental illness and health advocacy; a lesson in compassion and growth

Maslow's hierarchy of needs dictates that once our basic needs are met, then we can aspire to healthy interactions with others, and ultimately self-actualization.

A side, but valuable, comment here is that this doesn't indicate that self-actualization is the inevitable crown on a harrowing climb. It simply means that self-actualization, for the sake of life span and achievement, would be the launch pad that would carry someone to their greatest achievements. In other words, self-actualization is really the beginning of what could be. 

Today we will talk about mental health, but not yours.

Many people tout that mental health issues are better left under the rug. I identify strongly with honor culture. It should come as no surprise then, that people in my culture do not discuss their weaknesses. They push through them while mocking people who admit their struggles. For the most part, honor culture is on the decline, and more importantly, honor culture seems to be evolving to acknowledge that one can have pride in one's work, while admitting the difficulties in accomplishing it. 

This is overwhelmingly present in social media. And this is a good thing! We see what it really looks like to lose 100+ pounds. We see what it looks like to struggle to conceive. However there is one huge blot on the professional spectrum that seems to be a century behind when it comes to acknowledging mental health issues: health care. 

Did you know that professions with prescriptive rights are among the most likely to suffer from mental illness [1]? While medical doctors have a high rate of depression, there's also things like bipolar disorder, anxiety, addiction, and panic attacks that aren't accounted for in the reference listed below. 

A second side note: Chiropractors are also listed on the reference, but we are the only profession on the list that says, "Category includes chiropractors (a licensed profession) along with miscellaneous unlicensed health diagnosing practitioners." (insert eye roll here). That is like saying, "This category includes medical doctors along with miscellaneous actors that play doctors on t.v."

All that withstanding, I have two points to make.

1. Healthcare providers are under a LOT of stress. They deserve our patience and our compassion for the work they do.

2. In this current situation, it is not simply a pleasant concept, it is absolutely vital that you be your own advocate.

There are brilliant minds throughout our history that have had mental illnesses. Many of the diagnoses that previously would have resulted in inhumane treatments are now easily managed with chiropractic care, medication, or supplements.. But part of this stress and anxiety that affects our medical professionals so greatly is from carrying the burden of being the "decision maker". I would also argue that some of that stress comes from algorithms and pressures within the hospitalist system, but that's not anything that you and I can influence, other than with our mighty dollars. 

Most people don't become doctors because they hate people. Most people become doctors because they want to help people. Most doctors approach each patient with the wealth of knowledge that they have, and every motion is to help the patient towards health. Most doctors don't act out of malice. Most of them are working on 4 cups of coffee, too little sleep, too much stress, and frankly, too much outside influence to be the teacher their name implies. 

If you are pressured or emotionally manipulated away from your own decisions: you need a new doctor. That doctor isn't a bad person. That doctor is simply too distracted to acknowledge that the body you have is the one you will have for the rest of your days; the actions and consequences performed upon it are literally your burden to bear. 

Things to consider about your health:

• take time to read and learn about diagnoses you've been given
• go into follow up appointments with a knowledge of what to expect
• ask questions
• take a friend with you to listen and be the objective ears in the room. 
• if you are interested in alternative therapies for your diagnosis, print some articles and take them to your doctor
• don't assume that your doctor will say, "My way or the high way." Because I bet, if your doctor is worth their salt, they will either be open to your ideas, or will explain to you why it isn't a good idea.
• ask for dialogue, not just a prescription
• take notes!

1. http://www.businessinsider.com/most-suicidal-occupations-2011-10

Good Girls don't....: A guide to true cultural sexual rebellion.

One of the defining moments of my life was when I was in the 5th grade. My mother had been mostly absent for years, my grandmother was my beacon of femininity, and my extended family was doing everything in their power to prevent me from slipping through the cracks (Thank God for them!)

I was 11 years old, and I was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of my great grandmother's house. I was on the phone with a friend. I said, "I want to be an obstetrician. They deliver babies and I want to deliver babies. I hear it's pretty complicated, but I think I can do it." At this point my well intentioned aunt (pronounced "aint") walked out to me and said, "Good girls don't talk about stuff like that." I remember giggling awkwardly and just telling my friend I had to go. Coincidentally, about a year prior to this I was terribly confused when I looked under that same aunt's bathroom counter and saw these flat wrapped objects, and I genuinely thought that menstrual pads were like rolling your own cigarettes. I was told then that I didn't need to worry with that stuff.

You know what this did? It led me down the rabbit hole. What else aren't we supposed to talk about? In retrospect my grandmother never called sex, "sex". She called it "Making Love" (to this day I hate that phrase). So, around this time AOL discs were a dime a dozen, or literally free at the local grocery store. I went through about 15 discs in 6 months; I think they were 500 minutes free? 1500 minutes free? Anyway, I looked up everything. I looked at always.com, I looked at kotex.com, I looked up informational pages about periods. I looked up books. I got books from the library. I wanted to know everything I could about sex, periods, and pregnancy. I read Judy Blume (not recommended), and other teen based books; often thick with "life lessons on the irresponsibility of sex out of marriage."

By the time I was 14, purity rings were a big deal. I see that they still are; the jury is out on that one. Needless to say, I was opposed to making promises I couldn't keep. I remember being in 3rd grade and refusing to sign the D.A.R.E. promise for the exact same reason. If you want to believe that indoctrination wasn't an issue while I was in school, I'll ask you to view my school record that shows me getting 1 referral in my life: because I refused to sign a piece of paper at 9 years old. PS, there is another referral unofficially on my record for skipping school; at least I'm honest.

In my household nothing was a big deal. Making mole hills out of mountains caused me to not be overly preoccupied with alcohol or sex. This is not to say that sexual curiosity didn't come on early for me, but I wasn't terribly concerned with having sex at an early age. Anywho, I went away to college, was put on birth control for a medical reason, met a boy, and the rest is completely.... deviant from the norm. :)

I moved to California when I was 22. I was put on birth control when I was 19, and around 24 when I stopped. I didn't stop because I wanted to get pregnant. I stopped because it was ruining my relationship. I stopped because my already "dry" emotional state became like a tin roof; nothing stuck. Nothing bothered me, but nothing made me happy. I was non-committal to everything. Plus, it wasn't getting rid of the symptoms it was supposed to. When I stopped taking birth control I was convinced for a year that I would get pregnant. And then I didn't; this is not a miracle or anything, we were using barrier method.

And then. And then. My old employer was a Catholic SAHM. She told me about NFP. And that part really is history. Through, what I can only identify as a rebellion, I've realized that how we speak and react to fertility is perpetuating an unnatural fear of sex. I love sex. I don't just love sex for me, I love sex for all consenting adults. I openly admit in my instruction that my goal as an instructor is to give a couple as many usable days as possible. Call it manipulative, call it unhealthy, but sex is a pretty savvy cure-many (notice it's not a cure all), for relationships. When two people are consenting and having a good time, let the good times roll! Whatever floats your boat, let it take you away. That part is no one else's business.

My goal is to help people be empowered in fertility. Fertility is not a barrier to sex. Fertility is the heartbeat of sex, one to be observed and listened to, like the heart pounding of a first kiss or the barely noticeable slow, patient, beat of a Sunday morning cuddle. You do not have to get pregnant while practicing fertility awareness. It is not a game of chance. It is not purely for Catholics and Muslims. You have been lied to, and I'm here to help.


Marquette efficacy:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18997569

Generic NFP research:
Frank-Herrmann P, Heil J, Gnoth C, et al. The effectiveness of a fertility awareness based method to avoid pregnancy in relation to a couple's sexual behaviour during the fertile time: a prospective longitudinal study. Hum Reprod. 2007;22(5):1310–1319....

Predicting ovulation with at home urinalysis (not produced by Marquette)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23831784

Medical training on forms of natural family planning:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28620604

Ovulation correlation to cervical mucus production:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25724738

The Judge-y thoughts.

There are people in my life that claim we can judge people as long as we hold ourselves to the same standard. There are .GIFs dedicated to the "Don't Judge Me!" phrase.

As most of you know I am hardcore in the opposing corner of mom guilt. The best thing we can do in life is find people who are similar to us, so if we ever feel the need to test our true north, we have family or friends or a tribe to set us straight. That's not to say that we need to surround ourselves with like-minded people. I seem to thrive in environments where people question my beliefs, but honestly, sometimes it's fun to make a joke about my crunchy ways and have some genuinely laugh with me instead of laughing AT me. 

Yesterday I was on (duh duh DUH!!!) Facebook and I saw a photo of a friend of mine. She sells fitness, as a package. And my immediate thought was, "She didn't have that much to lose in the first place (insert eye roll here)!!" 

And then, boom. UUGHH! I'd stupidly thought someone's battle was easier than mine! I demeaned her effort and her brand by thinking that she hadn't worked hard for her body. Meanwhile this woman is constantly bringing other women UP. I then thought, "She isn't really building a business. She's slinging crappy products at unsuspecting women." HOLD IT. HOLD.THE.PHONE. Where did this snarky woman come from? Who cares what she's doing? She is helping people love themselves; which the world is so lacking right now. 

I am known in my community as a silver-linings-loving-optimist-you-can-do-it-all-in-one-pep-squad. I am known as this because this is what I want for myself. I want people to surround me and say, "Starting a business is hard! But you are rocking it!" Guess what? this woman that I thought the snarky things about is always the first to tell me how great of a job I'm doing. 

So, my brief thought of the day is this: It's great to not speak poorly of someone else, but if you want all those benefits for yourself, you have to stop thinking them too.